Great Kei Marathon (Kei Mouth to mouth resuscitation)

[MARATHON #273 / UNIQUE MARATHON #167 / 14 September 2024]

Running marathons in the Eastern Cape is always a pleasant experience. They possess the charm and character of a big club run with plenty of chatter and everyone seems to know everyone else. The sentiment is further enhanced with many of the support tables being enthusiastically crewed by ‘rival’ running clubs.

Such was the case at the Coastal Marathon that I ran at the beginning of August where one of the tables on the out-and-back route was managed by the Original Mambas Athletic Club. On the way out I was warmly greeted by the team in green and on the way back Boitumelo Lepman, who is the Great Kei Marathon Race Committee Head, said, “Running Mann, why don’t you come and run our race in September? I’ll organise you an entry!”

And that was how I found myself back again in East London for the Great Kei Marathon.

It’s just over an hour drive from the King Phalo Airport to Kei Mouth, a small holiday village which, as the name suggests, is located where the Kei River meets the Indian Ocean. After collecting my rental car at the airport, I made a quick stop at the Beacon Bay Country Club to collect my race number and shirt and headed to the Airbnb I’d booked in the village.

You have to love the simplicity of East London marathon route design. Basically they pick a finish venue (in this case the Kei Mouth Country Club) and then drive 42.2 kilometres up the road and spray paint a line on the road.

There are three ways to get to the start:

1.      Buy a return taxi ride ticket from Beacon Bay in East London for R150.

2.      Buy a one-way taxi ride from the finish at the Kei Mouth Country Club for R50.

3.      Coerce some sucker to do all the driving for you.

My logistics meant that I was on option 2 and a very early wake up was needed to get the taxi which left at 4:30am.

In order to save time, I arrived armed with my pre-made peanut butter sandwiches to eat, a cup of coffee in an insulated mug to drink and a tub of Vaseline and sunblock to apply once at the start. The race did not have a bag drop at the start (which is something that they should definitely consider for future events) but I figured I’d just find someone who was dropping off runners and driving to the finish. The only item of value that I did not want to throw away was the sunblock – that stuff is white gold and priced accordingly!

I figured I needed to find a group of runners that were both easy to spot at the finish and who looked faster than I did so I would not have to wait around at the finish if the car was providing roadside support for their runners. One of the brightest and most distinctive kits on the road is the cheerful orange and blue of Komani Runners Club. I duly approached an athletic looking group of Komanians and put my drawstring bag in the boot of what turned out to be the Chairman’s car.

This was the second edition of the marathon. The inaugural event drew 355 marathon finishers but this dropped to exactly 200 in 2024 with the half marathon getting many more entries than was the case in 2023. I was told that the big switch was due to the number of hills on the first half so I guess you could call this a case of once bitten by the Mambas, twice shy.

However, I am a bit worried about the fortitude of Border runners. The two oldest (and most popular) marathons in the region are the Buffs and Tony Viljoen Border Masters which follow almost exactly the same route and are probably the easiest marathons in the country. However, I am sure that the local runners who downgraded to a half marathon would claim sensibility over cowardice – and having now run the Great Kei, I’ll admit that they may have a good point!

The Original Mambas who run in a kit of violent green are affectionately known as the ‘Green Mambas’ in local running circles. Combine this with the Great Kei moniker and a comparison to Cobra Kai karate is entirely appropriate – and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is not much difference between the two.

A simple route description is that the profile ‘strikes first’ at 3km with a monstrous hill, proceeds to ‘strike hard’ for most of the rest of the race before delivering a final, brutal kill shot with a 1.2km kilometre ‘no mercy’ hill to the finish line. I’m just glad no one tried to “sweep the leg” over the last 10 kilometres.

And Green Mamba members that piss off their sensei are forced to join in the fun as punishment. I am not sure what these three runners in the picture above did wrong but they were certainly paying their dues.

The marathon was conceived when a member (although perhaps they call them ‘mambers’ at OMAC meetings) proposed that the club host a marathon and that the “secret training” route that certain members used to ensure that their legs were battle ready for Two Oceans and Comrades be shared with the general public.

Local company, Mlambo Investments Holdings, who are based in the nearby township of Cwili were keen to come on board as sponsors and the race was born. Bulela Sidloyi, OMAC’s Head of Communications explained, “Mlambo Investments Holdings took the initiative to sponsor the race in an effort to use sports to boost the local economy. Furthermore they wanted to contribute positively to the sport by introducing a race of such stature to the community.”

OMAC have responded in kind by donating clothes and non-perishable food to the local community as well as 50 pairs of shoes to the Cwili Primary School. The success of the inaugural race has led to more local businesses and organisations getting involved this year including the Department of Sports Recreation Arts and Culture – Eastern Cape, Statistics South Africa – Eastern Cape, Hollywoodbets, BT4 Guest House, Coca Cola and Mpact.

The race starts at an altitude of 320m and finishes at 62m so it’s officially a ‘downhill’ marathon but this is true in name only – you definitely want to read the fine print! There are major hills from 3.5km to 7km, 11.5km to 17.5km (the highest point on the route at 410m) and then from 41km to the end. There are too many minor hills to mention.

You do get an easy start with 3.5km of downhill to an altitude of 110m but you will only get back down to this elevation again over the last 10 kilometres. The ‘easy’ part of the course is from just before the half marathon mark until just before the 32km mark with a steady drop from 390m to 140m above sea level. However, what the route does give in droves is stunning views of the rural Wild Coast countryside.

I was told that the second half is much easier than the first. Whilst that might be true, it’s a bit like saying Cyrillic Russian is easier to learn than Mandarin. The second half does however have some interesting landmarks along this section of the Wild Coast.

The first was an establishment called the “Cock Inn” which led me to wonder what the wildest place on The Wild Coast is. Whilst I am sure that there is some stiff competition, The Cock Inn would be hard to beat.

According to Tripadvisor they welcome last minute reservations and will make a plan to squeeze you in. This is a popular spot to venture off the beaten track and into the bush. However, some patrons complained about the bar service – apparently the shooters are hard to swallow. They also do not approve of early check outs and you are likely to face a great deal of complaining if you require a premature evacuation.

Then there was the emergence of what looked like a tail wing of a large aircraft poking through the trees. As we got closer, the aircraft sighting was confirmed and this looked to be the site of a large and rather bizarre collection of relics, memorabilia and paraphernalia.

I did a bit of Googling after the race and it turns out that the ‘museum’ is owned by self-confessed hoarder Billy Nel who is a former Eastern Cape Finance MEC. However, the museum is only open to the public a few times a year and has an odd assortment of artefacts including over 650 motorcycles, several doubledecker buses, ox-wagons, train coaches, antique wooden organs and dentist’s and barber’s chairs.

The aeroplane is both literally and figuratively the biggest drawcard. It’s one of only two Convair 880 passenger jets (the other was owned by Elvis Presley, is named ‘Lisa Marie’ and is parked at Graceland) and carried the likes of the Rolling Stones, Barbara Streisand, John Denver and The Who (and after looking at the interior photographs, I’m sure that knowing ‘the what’ and ‘the how’ that went down in the plane would be pretty interesting too).

After the allure of cock inns and cockpits, there were more temptations further along the road like the promise of ice-cold beers at ‘The Shed’ but a 3km round trip was too big a diversion even for a runner as thirsty as me.

I also noted that, like marathon route design, they keep graphic design very simple and minimalist as one can see from the photo below.

If you’ve still got any strength left in your legs, the drop into Kei Mouth village is one of the easiest segments of the route. But you’ll need to screech on the brakes to properly take in the magnificent view of the Kei River Mouth as you approach the bottom of the hill and the 40km mark.

With a shade over one kilometre to go you run past the Kei Mouth Country Club bowling greens and tennis courts and get to sea level and the lowest point on the course. I think every single person wished that the organisers had used this venue as their finish instead of the elevated golf course part of the country club.

But with this race being organised by the Green Mambas they had to ensure that there was one last, nasty, venomous sting in the tail. The final hill is a route design of pure evil – from sea level you rise to over 60m (I wouldn’t be surprised if the official calibration was 66.6m). If the Mamba’s organising committee went to Hogwarts they wouldn’t need the sorting hat to be placed in Slytherin.

This hill currently has no name. According to Sidloyi, “It seems no one is prepared to name the last segment that provides the sting at the tail end.” I have no problem proposing names for heinous hills and drew on the Mamba Kei analogy to suggest ‘Super Serious Stinging Stinker Strike Hard In The Tail’ – or “Ssssshit” for short. I can also confirm that all dialogue I heard from fellow runners whilst summitting the Ssssshit Hill was unintelligible and unprintable – I can only assume that they were speaking in parseltongue.

Despite my complaints above, I would not change the finish up the serpent’s tail. This is a ‘test your mettle’ marathon route and running up the final hill makes sure that all finishers are medal worthy. On top of that, you wouldn’t get the great ocean views if one wimped out at sea level.

Sidloyi agreed with my sentiment, “The sting at the tail end provides a signature for the race which ultimately keeps everyone talking or wanting to experience it also.” The ultimate hill is definitely a talking point but I am not sure how many people want to experience it!

The sign on the gate at the finish at the Kei Mouth Country Club reminded me of the popular bumper sticker that read, “Will the last person to leave the country please remember to switch the lights out.”  The organisers should have changed it to, “Would the last runner home please close the gate behind them.”

Gate shutting is of vital importance in the region to keep out the free range bovines that roam the region. This was the one rule that my Airbnb host insisted I comply with as it takes just one cow to wreak havoc to a well-manicured garden. Whilst the impact of a bull in a china shop is well documented, personally I would have been interested to see what a bull could do to a golf course.

To shut the gate on this marathon, I needed to have a quick shower (would not want to inflict 42.2 kilometres of hard toil and sweat on my fellow passengers) and do the drive back to the airport in time for my 14h15 flight. It was a bit of a rush to get back to the airport but I made the flight. The Great Kei hills meant that I finished with my slowest marathon time of the year and cost me a couple of free pre-flight beers in the lounge. However, after all those hills I needed some Kei Mouth to mouth resuscitation and was therefore more than happy to incur the cost of some liquid refreshment on the FlySafair flight home.

Afterword

The Great Kei is a great destination marathon. For those looking for a marathon running holiday, I would highly recommend using the event as an excuse to take a long weekend and explore the many tourist activities and stunning scenery in this beautiful part of the Wild Coast.

Disclosure: Green Mambas AC provided me with a complimentary entry for this marathon.

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