Having studied the data, consulted with the experts and trawled through the wisdom of social media, I am still unable to determine any rationality behind the Pinetown and Sherwood cutoff times at Comrades 2023. Therefore, inspired by the Sherlock Holmes quote, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”, I have come up with this comprehensive set of conspiracy theories to explain the mysteriously illogical Comrades 2023 cutoff times.
Some of these conspiracy theories will contradict each other, some possess small slivers of truth, all contain healthy doses of undiluted nonsense – put them together and you have the perfect ingredients for a quality collection of ludicrous conspiracy theories…
Comrades 2018: My Penultimate Run at the Ultimate Human Race
[MARATHON #190 / Comrades #9 / 10 June 2018]
The human brain is a complex network of neural circuits. The two most intense emotions humans can experience are ‘love’ and ‘hate’. Many people think that ‘love’ is the opposite of ‘hate’ but recent neurological studies have shown that the two are so closely related that they even run on the same neural circuits. A better opposite for both ‘love’ and ‘hate’ is apathy. Apathy is not a word one associates with running Comrades – but wild bouts of love and hate are likely to flow through the neurological pathways of one’s brain over the course of a very long day.
The scientific studies did determine one key difference: The cerebral cortex – this is the part of the brain associated with logic, judgement and reasoning – becomes largely deactivated during bouts of love but remains fully functional during hate. I am a rational, lucid and objective human being which explains why I seem to hate Comrades so much more than I love it.