[MARATHON #261 / UNIQUE MARATHON #157 / 25 February 2024]
After a shoddy 2023 where not one family holiday was planned around a marathon, I am pleased to report that the Capital City Marathon was the focal point for our first family holiday of 2024. My top tip for Gauteng runners participating in Pietermaritzburg marathons is to avoid staying in Pietermaritzburg itself. Instead look for accommodation in the Midlands which makes the drive slightly shorter, your stay a lot more scenic and (even if you are staying on a working farm like we were) probably a lot better smelling too.
Our drive to the cottage was uneventful until arrival when I opened the car boot and a stray beer dropped onto the stone driveway causing a hairline fracture in the can. It takes quite a bit to get me emotional but I was clearly distraught. My eldest daughter remarked that the only time she had ever seen me cry was several years ago when we had to put our beloved pet cat down and she thought this was going to be the second*.
* I did manage to render some emergency first aid with a waterproof plaster that would normally offer race day nipple protection.
Meanwhile my youngest daughter, who is at the precocious tweenage stage of her emotional development, had a wobbly because she couldn’t find her jewellery. I told her not to worry as I would lend her my race medal. However, my kind offer only seemed to make the situation worse. I did however earn some points back by sharing the contents of the race goodie bag with her. For your R390 entry fee you get a good quality shirt plus plenty of snacks and drinks.
If New York is the city that never sleeps, Pietermaritzburg is the city that never wakes up. Therefore it is ironic that Pietermaritzburg races start several hours before any sensible person wakes up. The obvious deduction that one can make from this is that marathon runners lack common sense and are the only sub-category of humans that would willingly consent to a 5am race start.
The downside with staying 45 minutes outside of Pietermaritzburg is that you need to set a very early alarm on race morning. There is also some additional hassle factor because the start outside City Hall is about 3km from the finish at the Msunduzi Athletics Stadium so you need to allow extra time to get parked and then trot to the start.
They say that if you can’t handle the heat, you should stay out of the kitchen. I do spend some time in the kitchen (although probably not as much time as my wife would like) and I can handle the heat that comes with being the sole male in a household of women*. However, if you can’t handle the humidity, you probably shouldn’t be running marathons in KwaZulu Natal in February.
* Even our cats are female. I am totally emasculated at home and the only vestige of masculinity I have left is my surname.
Humidity is something that I struggle with and I was already sweating profusely by the time I arrived at the start. However, I noticed I was not alone and most runners glistened under the glow of the streetlights.
Like the characters in Dune, I knew that every drop of sweat was a precious resource that should be protected at all costs* although I rued the fact that I had not paid more attention to the water conservation techniques of the Fremen on Arrakis. Therefore, I did not join the throngs in the sheep pen but gave my compatriots a respectable distance before joining from the back of the field once the start line had cleared.
* When you pay in sweat during a marathon, this is known as ‘pursepiration’.
The first half hour is run in darkness. The good news is that the streetlights provided ample lighting but the bad news is that there are plenty of hazardous potholes that could send you for an early shower if you get your footing wrong. Organising a city marathon in 2024 South Africa can be tricky and I asked the organisers what would have happened if there was load shedding. Whilst they can plan and make contingencies for load shedding, they highlighted that a bigger concern was criminal elements who sabotage and steal the infrastructure. To counter the risk of the runners being plunged into darkness, the organisers had SAPS and the Mi7 security group on standby with floodlights.
When I was a teenager in the early 1990s, I remember listening to the Top 40 on Radio 5 (as 5FM was known in those days). There was a popular song called “Nothing Ever Happens” by the Scottish band Del Amitri. Phil Wright was the show’s DJ at that time and whenever he played “Nothing Ever Happens” he would comment that the song is about Pietermaritzburg.
My recent experiences with people who live in Pietermaritzburg have done nothing to dispel this sentiment. However, whilst nothing may ever happen in Pietermaritzburg, I was soon to discover that plenty goes on in Hillcrest. Having seen the large amount of litter on the route and, being the upstanding citizen that I am, I decided to do my bit for the environment by ‘picking up stompies’ and was soon riveted by the conversation of three ladies in front of me.
I have never watched an episode of the “Real Housewives of Durban” but if there are any budding producers out there, the “Real Housewives of Hillcrest” (covering hair salon politics and general relationship shenanigans in the greater Hillcrest region) would be a guaranteed hit. Unfortunately, the chatty trio recognised me, made me swear that everything I had overheard was “off the record” and they then made sure to only talk running when I was within earshot for the rest of the race.
The Capital City Marathon is a pseudo-replacement for the Maritzburg City Marathon which had its last run in 2019*. Maritzburg City was a double-lapper and, whilst it does cover some of the same ground, the Capital City Marathon is a single lap race (which I personally prefer).
* Check out my report from the 2018 Maritzburg City Marathon
Regular readers know that I love my stats and I was surprised at marathon inelasticity (or the ‘lack of transferability’) and how long it takes to build a marathon brand. The Martizburg City Marathon which John Hall organised for many years had about 10,000 finishers across all events. The Capital City Marathon had now had four editions on and the most they’ve had is 3,000 finishers (in their first year and again this year).
The half marathoners kept us company over most of the first half as the route takes one out on a northern loop before returning us back close to the finish before the field splits. The half / full marathon split itself does provide a good mental challenge to the marathon runner. The guy in the photo below from Folweni AC looks like he is regretting his life decisions and I am sure that there are several runners who did a sneaky downgrade. However, they would have missed the “Dusi dog leg’ that I found particularly interesting.
Pietermaritzburg was badly affected in the July 2021 riots so it was interesting to see the steps that local companies had taken to prevent future looting. I had heard that “Cash and Carry” stores in the region are now called “Dash and Hurry” but could find no proof of this. I did however note that Makro has built what amounts to a fortress around its perimeter whilst the Discount Hyper (see photo below) uses the Dusi River as a moat to protect itself from stock theft.
I got even more excited when I spotted a SAB sign in the distance. My dehydrated body was still able to go into Pavlovian overload but my profuse salivations were all for naught as I coped with the devastating disappointment that the SAB sign did not come with a refreshment table. However, with the plant being directly opposite the Dusi River, I am now wondering if this is the main ingredient in Castle Lite.
The thought of an ice-cold beer was still sloshing around in my head when I noted some interesting artwork just around the corner. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you empty Heineken quarts at your favourite drinking spot, make a tree sculpture like the one in the photo below. BTW, if there are any ‘beer bottle artists’ out there looking for a muse, I am happy to help you by providing raw materials for your work.
Whilst on the subject of ornaments, I noted that the humble garden gnome has been replaced by the flatdeck truck trailer as the lawn decoration of choice in certain parts of the city. No idea what the story behind this is flat-gardenbed-truck is but I expect it has the neighbours saying, “What the truck!?”
I had a nice interaction with the friendly folks at the Stats SA table. I asked them for a useful stat and was told that the population of South Africa is 62 million people. I then asked how many of them were marathon runners but that drew a blank. I told them I’d be back next year for the answer (which incidentally is 103,009 based on my 2023 data).
Overall the tables were great. I know a few runners complained that the water was not cold at some tables (and I overheard one volunteer apologising that the ice arrived late) but there was plenty to eat and drink along the route. Having run the Durban City Marathon without water in 2022, I am just grateful for what I get at KZN races. Warm water does not bother me and, since the Durbanites like to brag about the warm water at their beaches, I just assumed that tepid water was a feature of KZN races.
I was particularly impressed with the Royal Hospital station who would get my vote as the best table of the race. Hospitals are not known for having tasty food but the Royal Hospital had the most appetising spread of the day. I think that this was the first time I’ve had Nik Naks (or Kaas Kaks as I like to call them if you eat too many) during a marathon and they had plenty of other tricks and treats at their table as well*.
* If you ever see me collapse at a KZN marathon, please ask the medics to take me to the Royal Hospital.
Now I’ll admit that Pietermaritzburg is an easy target and that I might have been a little too derisive in this race report but I am also happy to reconsider my opinions and give credit where it is due. I was really impressed with the Msunduzi Municipality’s new urban farming initiative. The recently tilled soil in the photo below looks very fertile. I am not sure what is planted here but it’s a great use of the wasted space at intersections*.
* I would guess mielies because this would provide some cover for their traffic police to hide behind.
Whilst I did the above post ‘tongue firmly in cheek’, it was clarified that there was a ‘plothole in my pothole story’ and this particular cavity was the result of a burst water pipe that had been fixed the day before. The organisers had in fact worked hard with the municipality to ensure that this section of the route was safe for runners and did not affect the race. A share of my post on Facebook did however earn me the title of ‘buffoon’ from a local ANC councillor which I have proudly screen capped and added to my brag wall.
It will be interesting to see whether the road is retarred before next year’s race (although a lot more does seem to happen in election years). There are plenty of impressive potholes dotted around our major cities – Jackie Polchet pointed me to this article: https://www.jacarandafm.com/breakfast-martin-bester/most-famous-pothole-joburg-grows-weeds-tall-people/
A few kilometres beforehand we had run past the impressive grounds of the Royal Agricultural Society who host the Royal Agricultural Exhibition every May (which is arguably the most prestigious agricultural show in the country). I have already drawn attention to Pietermaritzburg’s ability to make lemonade from lemons and perhaps we should do the same with the rich harvest of lemons our politicians constantly dish up by organising a “Most Beautifully Cultivated Pothole in South Africa” competition!
On a slightly more serious note, it would be great if South African cities took the opportunity to fix and clean marathon routes before an event to showcase their city. In the case of the Capital City Marathon, the race has a sponsorship deal with the Msundusi Municipality which includes providing race day services like traffic control and waste management. Unfortunately it does not include pre-race day services like refuse collection, filling potholes and fixing leaking sewer pipes.
Whilst marathon runners in the KZN humidity have no choice but to rub salt into old wounds, the race organisers did spend the day before the event pouring soil onto old potholes. However, there is only so much they can do, “Compared to the 2023 event, the potholes were there, but less than 2023. It is an unfortunate situation. Especially when those responsible leave it to last minute and run out of time to fix it.”
Spectator support is sporadic in the City that Never Wakes Up, but there was the odd curious onlooker and the gentleman below deserves a special call out as the most enthusiastic spectator of the race. He was clapping and cheering for every runner from the comfort of one of his dining room chairs.
The good news is that runners and supporters of the Capital City Marathon have plenty to look forward to in future years. The race is already one of the few marathons in South Africa that is accredited to earn “good for age” World Marathon Major entries. Since inception, the goal for the race has been to become a World Athletics Label event and the organisers are looking at flattening the second half for a faster route in 2025.
Whilst the second half had all the hills, the overall running conditions seemed to become easier and less humid. Earlier in the morning, braaiing would have impossible with without a generous helping of a super-accelerant but I noted that the gentleman below was just getting his fire started at the stadium entrance (I assume his choice of location is because open flames are not allowed inside the stadium).
The upside of a 5am start is that you get to enjoy a post marathon beer before a hobbit has had a chance to finish his second breakfast. Unfortunately mine (the beer – not a second breakfast) was delayed as I arrived back to a locked cottage and had to pull a very reluctant family away from their shopping expedition at Piggly Wiggly.
It seems that the race is in good hands under the organisation of Phuma Athletics Club (especially if they manage to get better service delivery from the Msunduzi Municipality), but there is one further political threat to the future of the race. I asked the race team, ”The IFP says that if they win the election they’ll move the capital of KwaZulu Natal to Ulundi, should this happen will you move the marathon to Ulundi or change the marathon’s name?”
The cheerful response was, “Hahaha! I think our colleagues at Ulundi Striders will gladly host a 2nd Capital City Marathon in the (would be) Capital.” Ulundi does not currently have a marathon so, if they do have aspirations of being a capital city, then it’s high time that they got around to organising one! As for me, I’d just be happy to run more marathons and would willingly play the role of the “IEC” and offer an Independent Event Comparison of both marathons.
